Betty Duffy

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Friday, December 28, 2012

Help!

Could someone please remind me of all the stuff you've got to do before you have a baby? I think I'm supposed to be nesting, but I'm having trouble remembering what all that entails. I know I need to:

1. Find and wash the newborn clothes.
2. Find and wash and install the car seat.
3. Go to the grocery, and/or buy lunches for the kids for the next month at school, so I don't have to pack them.
4. Wash the blankets and stuff on our bed.
5. Is cleaning the rest of the house negotiable?

 What am I forgetting?

24 comments:

wifemotherexpletive said...

dinners in the freezer. a god send for us this time around...

Melanie Bettinelli said...

Does the baby have a bed or sleep with you? Baby bassinet is on my list.

If it makes you feel better I just washed my baby clothes and car seat cover yesterday.

Today I'm cutting everyone's hair so it's easier to wash and manage during the recovery period. But I don't think that's on most people's to do list.

Peter and Nancy said...

Call a friend . . . and ask her to call a few other friends to bring meals for your family during the first week or so after the baby comes.
Nancy

BettyDuffy said...

Baby usually sleeps with us. Last time I set up a port-a-crib in our room so I could lay the baby down during the day. I need to do that. We also downgraded from a kingsize to a queensize bed this year, so we may not co-sleep as comfortably as we used to.

For some reason, I'm prepared to be really inorganic with this baby. Like, I'm considering getting an epidural and a pacifier and a crib. I've done epidurals a couple times before, but this time, I don't even really want to try natural labor again. Want to make things as easy as possible.

Meals, I need to do. Maybe I can fit in one more trip to cosco.

BettyDuffy said...

Ooh! we need to come up with a name too.

Sally Thomas said...

Heh, I had decided to be really inorganic last time around, too, especially with regards to the epidural. Life just seemed hard enough already. But then the epidural team got all caught up with some other woman, and they didn't get to me, and they didn't get to me, and then just as I was feeling as though I really would like them to get to me someday, they did . . . and I was all dilated. As one of them put it, in tones of great joviality, "Time we be done, she be sittin on the baby!" I loved that woman -- she really made me laugh, and then I went on and had the baby without the epidural.

It's that baby who now can't find her glasses, by the way, so I must thank you again for the optical link. But when I say I can't even remember what you're supposed to do to get ready for a baby, you'll understand why. Nine years is a long dang time.

Rebekka said...

Nursing bra, nursing pads, Other Hygienic Equipment ready to go. Since you have a new bed I'd put down a mattress protector if you haven't already - I wrecked our mattress when my water broke spontaneously in the middle of the night, and we coslept so it was nice to protect the bed from milk and spit up.

BettyDuffy said...

I do think I need one more nursing bra. I bought one at the beginning of this pregnancy, but I've worn it almost every day, and it may already be shot. Got the pads. Mattress protector is a novel idea. I may even have one of those square things I could just lay under my side from when the kids were wetting the bed. Good idea.

Sally, Life does seem hard enough. I hope someday to have a really fast delivery. Maybe this will be my time. My fastest was around four hours, and it was an induction--which I managed without an epidural because I really wanted to be that way, but the rest have been between 8 and 18 hours. Two with epidural, the others without. It seemed like it always took a lot of preparation to go naturally, like I had to be all psyched up for it, and unwilling to compromise. Of course, I might not have a choice in the matter...

BettyDuffy said...

Actually, does anyone have a good nursing bra recommendation? I've bought this bra two times, and it's really comfy, but not durable: http://www.amazon.com/Elle-Macpherson-Intimates-Maternelle-Nusing/dp/B0009WN91G

ellie said...

Diapers? Make sure the make and model of the car seat hasn't expired? Make sure you're stocked up on your favorite early-weeks-of-nursing snacks and drinks?

Liz E. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steph C said...

Betty, a Co-sleeper bassinette is a great investment in sleep-ease, especially if you're in a queen sized bed, and especially if you want to kinda sorta co-sleep or at least have the baby in the room with you during the early months. It can also stand alone as a regular bassinette, if you decide to move him/her into another room.

Emily J. said...

Just hope Mom gets over her flu so she can come over and take care of everything.

Peter and Nancy said...

If you don't get too huge when you're nursing, you can order Bravada bras online. They are sort of cami/sports bra types of nursing bras though, so if you're gigantic in the first two months, they won't work so well then. :) But later, they're super comfy, and they wear well.
Nancy

Kel said...

If you have Nordstrom near you, they ship for free and then you can return what you don't like. My favorite brand is Elomi because that's what fits me (34H) best. I also like Glamourmom nursing tanks; the Target ones are supposed to be good for those who are less chesty than I. Is nice to have your bra attached to a base layer!

Kel said...

Our cosleeping situation has undergone a lot of evolution since we have a Queen (which I regret more than any other purchase!). First it was cramped part time cosleeping in the Queen, then more comfortably with it turned horizontal and our legs hanging off the end, then turned the right way with a crib sidecarred (much roomier than a cosleeper), and then we got a twin to attach on the side so we have a massive bed with a crack down the middle. There are ways to make it work.
Pack hospital bag? Charge camera battery? Arrange for childcare? Buy lots of disposable dishes and such so that you have a brief respite from doing/making someone do the dishes?

Sally Thomas said...

We co-slept with our first two, then had the last two just sleeping in our room, in a crib (#3) and then (#4) a Moses basket followed by a Pack-'n-Play. If I had it to do again, I would do a crib sidecar, which then eventually could just be the baby's bed in our room.

I do know what you mean about life being too hard all around. There's a certain amount of mental . . . toughness or whatever . . . that you have to gather up to face what you know is going to be a hard slog, and sometimes circumstances are just such that the toughness isn't there. Just thinking about pain is one thing too many.

For my own part, I would have accepted the epidural gladly if they'd gotten to me sooner. I was just lucky in not having a super hard labor that time. It was long -- my water broke around 6 in the morning, and the baby came around 6 that evening after a day of Pitocin, but it really didn't feel like a Pitocin labor. It just felt like hanging around in a bed they wouldn't let me get out of while my mother sat by me knitting and my mild discomfort increased to the point where I actually did call the nurses' station to ask about the epidural people. (but I could actually speak rationally for myself, which should tell you how bad it wasn't). I'd had another Pitocin labor that was absolute hell, so had made up my mind that I wasn't doing that again . . .

In addition to your own favorite snacks and drinks, what about laying in some cookies or something to pull out if people drop by to see the baby once you're home? That's one thing I regretted not thinking about in advance, especially when we were in England. Once a lady from my choir came by unannounced with a baby gift from the choir -- she was a spinster in late middle age, definitely not a little-kid person, and I remember standing awkwardly with her in my sitting room, which was so littered with toys that there was nowhere to sit down, the baby screaming in my arms, and not offering her any tea or anything because a) the baby was crying, and niceties were not occurring to me just then, and b) I didn't have anything nice and easy to offer her, even if I had thought of it. Later I read a baby book which suggested stocking up on things to offer guests, and I thought, "Oh . . . right . . . a good thing to do . . . " Hindsight. So 20/20.

Julia said...

Make a list of what brings your other kids joy, kid by kid. It can be simple stuff (usually is): a shoulder rub, a bubble bath, a new Ultimate Paper Airplane book, hot chocolate, or a read aloud. I can never remember that kind of stuff in the throes of sleep deprivation, which is always when the older kids need it most.

Rebekka said...

I like Triumph bras and they make some nice nursing bras, which are actually not ugly, but I don't know if you can get the brand in the US.

Jenny said...

Cleaning is completely dependent on whether your postpartum hormonal crash includes sobbing uncontrollably about how dirty the house is. Mine does. :-( If not, I wouldn't bother.

BettyDuffy said...

Thanks everyone! This is so helpful to me. Really.

A wonderful idea, Julia, on remembering the other kids--have to admit, it had not occurred to me. I'm awful.

TS said...

I think a lot of people are missing the obvious here...before you have a baby you have to have sex. Well at least that used to be true.

BettyDuffy said...

It's called prostaglandin therapy these days-heh.

Sister Mary Martha said...

Sounds like you ARE nesting.