Betty Duffy

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Reality Checks

My cousin had a miscarriage not long ago, and she mentioned, in hindsight, how the fluctuation in hormones caused her to experience sort of a suspension of reality, as though she were watching her life happen. And along with it, came some ugly thoughts, that she knew were not grounded in reality.

"My husband would be ten minutes late from work, and my first thoughts were, He's cheating on me."

They had just moved to a new house, didn't have family nearby, and the vulnerability of the situation caused her to imagine every worst case scenario.

I've been there before. The only cure for such thoughts, is to reach out to someone else--call a friend, get in touch with family, call your husband--replace the voices in your head with real live voices. You'll realize you're not alone, and that the world as experienced by millions of other people, bears little resemblance to the strange world developing in your mind.

I'm writing about the reality check today at Patheos. And the grace of having real relationships with people who know us, and can intervene on our behalf when we're not doing so well.

1 comment:

Karen Edmisten said...

Grief can do such strange and dizzying things to us. I'm so sorry about your cousin's miscarriage, Betty.