Betty Duffy

Sunday, September 19, 2010

In an Amish Mood...

Oh, the Pioneer Fair is going on today, just a hop, skip and a jump away from our house, and the kids can't get enough of it. I took them yesterday. Husband took them today. We never tire of seeing people dressed up for the 1870s, stirring hand-dyed yarn in big cauldrons over an open fire, and men in suspenders whittling sticks.

My daughter wanted to do the cakewalk, and she went around a couple times while the hammered dulcimer played, but she had no luck. So I sent the boys out, because, "Your sister wants to win a cake, so you guys are going to walk," and they were a little grouchy about it, but by golly, if there is one thing having a bunch of kids is good for, it's dominating the cakewalk. With her brothers at her side, her odds of winning increased to something like 90%.

Unluckily for all of us, however, it was biggest brother who won, and when he went to make his cake selection, of all the homemade goods on the table, he chose the Duncan Hines yellow cake with canned frosting.

This morning my husband asked me if I'm still in my Amish mood today. Because if I am, he's going to wait until tomorrow to tell me that we're getting Satellite TV.

Friends were over not long ago, sitting on our porch late in the evening talking about the evils of technology. She holds up her little cell phone and says, "I don't need a smart phone. This phone does everything I need it to do. It takes messages, and I can make calls. It's just right."

He says, "But does it fart?"

She says, "No, but my husband has an app for that."

There are so many reasons to live in Indiana. Particularly this time of year, with it's breezy, sunny days, Dali clouds, and whistling cornfields. It can make you think that anything is possible. So I've signed up for a 5K. Here's where I run:

Went to the grocery yesterday and the guy in front of me had difficulty making change, so I had plenty of time to put my groceries on the belt before the check-out guy could tell me he needed my cart in order to begin loading it. I hate getting into that catch 22, where we're just looking at each other, and he can't go on because the bags are all full, and he needs to load up, but I can't give him my cart because there are more groceries in it and there's no room on the belt to unload them.

But while the man in front of me made change to the last penny, I got to arrange all my groceries like a puzzle on the conveyor belt so that cereal boxes were stacked several feet high, on top of the paper towels, and all my frozen goods were together, and my bread was at the back of the line so that, once bagged, it would be the last thing on the cart, rather than smashed at the bottom.

And I believe the check-out guy caught my OCD, or else we just had the good fortune of matching the right associate with the right customer, because as he loaded my groceries into the cart, he too, lovingly organized the boxes of cereal to fit the cart like a game of Tetris. It all worked so smoothly, and the check-out guy moved so deliberately, he gave me the chills.

I don't remember the last time I walked out of Wal-mart feeling sort of warm and fuzzy, as though the words "customer convenience" and "quality assurance" had any meaning.


grandmaonthefarm said...

ok... so i need to stop 'stalking' and leave a comment. at least that is what i've been scolded about. so let it be known that me...whom you've never met....loves to read your a silent 'thank you' to Him who made this place ~ despite its brokenness- to hold companions of like mind. thanks....

Peter and Nancy said...

Hee hee! I am compulsive about arranging my groceries too -- all the cold stuff goes first, so it gets packed together, then all the bread, lettuce, bananas, etc. goes near the end so it won't be ruined. It's nice to know that someone else shares the craziness. :o)

Emily J. said...

Is that you panting in the background of your little video or the dog? Enjoy your run in the scenic countryside while the rest of us slog around the 'hood.

Just trying to sublimate my jealousy.

Love, your sister

Tari said...

My husband has that thing about loading the groceries at the checkout; I used to like him coming with me to the store and now I dread it. When the cashier doesn't play along with his OCD games he gets so offended when we're unpacking: "why is the Tylenol in the frozen food bag? Why is the milk with the crackers? Arrrrrrghh!" All this from a man whose office is so messy, it looks like he fed a small child five chocolate bars and then gave her three reams of paper and said "go to it." And so I hide in another room, trying not to laugh.

Janet in Toronto said...

Re grocery line: I always take pains to organize my groceries the way I want them packed, and then the checker will sometimes survey the conveyer belt, picking out items to scan in some order that is only logical to them. That's why I like self-checkout so much!

And, sad to say, my husband is one of those guys who waits until all the bags are packed and the checker announces the grand total before even thinking about reaching for his wallet. It drives me batty. So when we shop together, I always get the old debit card out and ready to swipe. Don't know if it's a mars/venus thing... most women seem to be able to anticipate that payment will be required and have their cash/card ready to go!

Otepoti said...

There really is an app for it.

I thought you were kidding. i should know better.