Betty Duffy

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

How does it come to this?


Six year old daughter: “Mommy, that lady has fat inappropriate parts!”

Me: “Um, that lady has large breasts, but she is not fat…. You need to know, though, that her body parts are not inappropriate; it’s only inappropriate to let them hang out of your clothes in public."

Nine-year-old son: “What about breast feeding?”

Me: “Well that’s different because that’s what breasts are for, but it’s still good to be discrete when breastfeeding.”

Son: “What’s the difference between breastmilk and formula?”

Me: “Breastmilk is the best food for babies because God made it, whereas people make formula.”

Son: “Can we drink breastmilk?”

Me: “I could probably let you have some in a cup, but it would be weird for you to nurse.”

Son: “That’s because we’re neutered!”

Me: “Not neutered, weaned.”

Son: “Oh yeah, neutered is what you do to dogs to get rid of their mating instincts.”

Eight-year-old son pipes up from backseat: “I want to get neutered because I hate girls!”

Nine-year-old: “Yeah! Let’s get neutered!”

Me: “I don’t think you want to get neutered because that would mean having your body parts cut off, and one day, you might like girls.”

Nine-year-old: “I’m never going to like girls!”

Me: “Well, I hope you never get neutered anyway.”

Nine-year-old: “Then I’m going to get neutered when I’m a rebellious teenager!”

Me: “If you’re a rebellious teenager, getting neutered is the last thing you’re going to want to do.”


Erika said...

What a wonderfully funny and multi-faceted conversation. Sounds like you guys covered it all. Thanks for sharing.

Young Mom said...

Hahaha! That about summarizes why I gave you a blog award last friday. :)

Jamie said...

What a hoot!

That Married Couple said...

Haha, too funny!

Maria said...

I love it!

Sarah Miller said...

Sounds like everything I would expect from a trip in your minivan!

Hope said...

Thank your children for making me laugh out loud so early in the day!

Jus said...

this actually brought tears to my eyes I was laughing so hard.......

Rae said...

Good answers!

SKS said...

Oh how I've missed you, Betty Duffy. This is so funny. I've had the attention span of a goldfish since the birth of the baby and I'm finally returning to blog reading. Thanks for the giggle.

Enbrethiliel said...


Why am I not surprised that your children are so witty?