Betty Duffy

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Good Man is Hard to Find

I don’t think it’s very becoming when middle aged hausfraus swoon over gents who aren’t their husbands. And yet…there’s this guy at my Church, who it cannot be denied, IS the Marlboro Man. He has sunburned crow’s feet around his eyes, mud on his boots, and that inverse triangle figure of a man who could carry the world on his shoulders. When he walks up the aisle to take his pew, you can see the collective heads of the Parish, male and female, discretely oscillating in his direction.

What’s notable about this guy, aside from the fact that he is a gem to look at, is that he is at Church, not just on Sundays, but most nights of the week as well. He is a woman’s dream come true: the manly man who kneels.

I’ve seen this quote going around a lot lately: “A woman’s heart should be so buried in Christ that a man has to seek Him to find her.” But as I considered this quote the other day, it made me sort of depressed, because it has not been my experience that a man will go that far to seek a woman. Let’s just say it: men are often slower to embrace their faith than women are. Even (and often especially) when a Godly woman beckons him to Church, he can be as slow and stubborn as a mule.

But in overlooking his faith, the Modern Man has overlooked one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs of all time. If you turned this quote around, “A man’s heart should be so buried in Christ that a woman has to seek Him to find him,” the man would be batting off women left and right.

I remember in college making up a list with one of my girlfriends of all the qualities we were looking for in a guy. Neither one of us were exceptionally faithful Catholics at the time, and yet a “faithful” man was at the top of our list. Nevertheless, I graduated from college with the disillusioned belief that virtuous men were only to be found in books, monasteries, and marriages.

Not surprisingly, I ultimately married a man with whom I could share my faith (once I found it), and I just happened to get lucky that he’s handsome, funny, intelligent, and a good provider to boot. But before I met him, I went through a period when I had no faith that I could share my faith with any man. I would have dated a toad if he were a good Catholic.

The man of faith has more influence than he knows, especially if he’s good looking. A consequence of this Marlboro man spending his social times at Church is that other manly men feel comfortable doing the same. Church is no longer just a place for old folks and nerds. Our Parish is undergoing an awakening where young attractive couples and singles actually want to be there. Of course Christ is at the heart of this renewal, but it doesn’t hurt to see attractive people at Church.

I would even go so far as to say that attractive people have a responsibility to be present in their Churches. If you’re blessed with good looks, wouldn’t you rather reach the end of your life with a group of people who followed your charisma and beauty to Heaven rather than Hell?

Maybe I’m just a shallow sucker for good looking people, but it’s food for thought.


Jus said...

I too, am a shallow sucker for good looking people.

Kristin T. (@kt_writes) said...

HA! I guess I'm shallow, too, because I completely agree with your closing thought. And I love this post. Your writing is so honest, descriptive and entertaining.

I don't know if you've ever read my older post about how I met my husband, but I actually met him at church! I was having a really difficult time at my old church, and decided I was either going to find a new one or just give up on church all together. The church I've been going to for the past four years was the first one I walked into--and there was Jason. Handsome & hip, funny & smart, and single! I realize a lot of people meet their spouse at church, but it was the last thing either Jason or I ever expected. God is funny and good.

jenX67 said...

I think this is my favorite post you've ever written. Do you follow Loren Christie's blog? I think you'd like her. A Catholic from Long Island (as best I can recall.) She's fast becoming one of my favorites.

You should have stumble buttons on your posts - I'd digg or stumble this.

Betty Duffy said...

Kristin, I hope you brought that post over from your archives when you redesigned your site. I'd love to read it. God is funny and good.

Jen, I'm reading up on stumble and digg. I'm a late digital bloomer, but I hope to have those functions soon.

Jus, cheers to beautiful people!

Pedge said...

I was actually thinking the other day that we should start a "I'm good looking and I love the Church" on facebook. Is that hilarious! I have no idea how those things start and I realize the hilarious part is saying I think I'm good looking!! But, like you have said so well, there is something to this idea that humble attractive people attract people. I read where the Pope said , "God is disappearing from the human horizon" in a letter to Bishops today. This reality urges us all to do whatever we can reach people for Christ. Even if it's someone's looks that gets them in door, it will be Christ that keeps 'um coming back.

Lank Thompson said...

Oh Betty, must you use your blog posts to admonish me and your little brother?

Betty Duffy said...

Well Lank, you are a very handsome man. Tactile, but in a tasteful way. And I love the way you say my name when you're speaking to me, but......ARE YOU HOLY????

Loren Christie said...

Betty, You have a really strong writing voice! Love this post, and your personality! JenX sent me. Best Wishes! -Loren